Empowerment in Change
Life is all about evolution. I get it if you are a person who dislikes change. Change calls for adjusting physically, mentally, spiritually, intellectually, sexually and/or emotionally. As I have evolved in my thinking about how to live a life filled with joy, peace and health, so have the things I think are essential to securing a enjoyable life. Change is definitely a part of that understanding. Much has changed for me without my consent throughout my lifetime; there has a lot of uncomfortableness, fear and anxiety in the uncertainty of the overall outcome of these decisions. And yet there are drastic changes that left me with a sense of empowerment that I wasn’t expecting when I imagined it.
Cutting Hair
I can’t recall the first time I went to the “hairdresser” (as my mom says), but I remember the first time I did the BC = big chop. I have done it 3 times and each time felt a confidence boost. The first time I did it to signify moving across the country. I relocated from the dirty south to the east coast in my early twenties. It look a lot of courage to not only move, but deal with the unkind remarks many family members had following the chop. My grandmother was upset and didn’t talk to me for days, because I “cut off all that pretty hair”. Thankfully, there was a growing community on YouTube to support this decision. Overtime Youtubers like BlackOnyx77 taught me some unique and doable natural hairstyles that eventually won my grandmother over. I put more emphasis on wearing eye make up and earrings on days that I felt less confident about my new look. Taking care of myself in this way and learning how to dismiss negative and unwanted comments about the way I wore my hair built my confidence and encouraged me to pursue more changes.
Earning Degrees
As you may know from reading a previous story, I went to college under the label of an “adult learner” and did not have a traditional living on campus experience. As a commuter, I lived on campus by I spending hours in classes, working two part-time jobs and completing assignments in the tech lab. I do remember how I felt applying for graduation and when submitting the last assignments for those semesters.
Post-graduation from the three programs I earned degrees from I was always met with new networking opportunities which led to adventures, friendships and career aligned positions with negotiable salaries and benefits. I could have guessed that this decision would lead me to feeling more confident. In those adult moments where a fork in the road was presented I often chose to earn a degree; at times tears fill my eyes thinking of the opportunities I would have missed if I had taken the easier path. I do believe I would have continued to feel stuck and unhappy. Not only I am filled with joy when I recognize the dedication and focus I was able to find within, I’m left feeling confident that whenever a future fork emerges I will confidently choose the path that will propel me forward to reach a higher level in my personal and professional lives.
Traveling Solo
I don’t recollect the first time I flew on a plane, but I know I wasn’t a year old was unaccompanied only by my carrier and a diaper bag, flight attendants my temporary mile high guardians. Hey, it was the 80s! Perhaps this is where my love for flying among the clouds first started... I do remember the first solo trip I took. After moving to South Korea to teach English as a foreign language during my third week there was a thanksgiving break called, Chuseok. I listened to other expats complain about not having anything to do or places to go. Being the loner I was I spent my breaks researching places to visit during the 5 day break. In my thorough search I learned about Jeju Island. The airlines were running $75 USD roundtrip tickets so I requested permission to travel from the Principal and Vice Principal through my co-teachers and then booked the flight. Spending an entire vacation alone in a foreign country was one of the highlights of my life thus far. The first solo trip ignited my passion for travel in a distinct way that led to visiting 10 countries solo in 26 months. Traveling solo as a Black, queer woman has been full of excitement, beauty, acceptance, patience, learning, stimulation, wander, and gratefulness. It has been a great confidence builder for me.
Mood: Changes — Kelly and Ozzy Osbourne
In what ways have major changes in your life left you feeling more empowered? I invite you to share in the comments.
