Unprepared for Higher Learning
As a senior in high school, I never shared the excitement of speeding through the final semester towards graduation, college bound. To my stomach’s disappointment, I was accepted into the two colleges to which I was forced to apply. My mom and guidance counselor wanted me apply to three universities and I know they meant well. But I didn’t feel prepared. An enormous amount of pressure rained over me like a nimbostratus cloud; the feeling was hefty and I could not rid myself of it no matter how much I procrastinated. Now I refer to this uncomfortableness as anxiety. My fear of the unknown begged me to miss application deadlines, in hopes that I would have to wait until the following semester — over even the next academic calendar year. Why, you may ask…Because the thought of moving away from my (dysfunctional) family to a ugly, old dorm on a massive campus to attend crowded lecture halls was not appealing to my introverted self. Staying home seemed better than willingly moving forward with a terrifying decision.
I’m a third generation college student on maternal side of the family and a second generation on the paternal side. As much as my parents talked about my brother and I going to college, I felt lost about the whole subject. Endless questions and uninformed thoughts arose. I’m not ready for college! How will afford it? I don’t want to take out student loans. What does being in college even mean?! I did no research, attended no college tours, asked few questions to the wrong people. I had no idea that I could enroll in small schools at the time. What’s worse is that I didn’t even know what HBCUs really were as a 17 year old. Looking back at the tuition costs, it was foolish not to commence the collegiate journey sooner.
“There is no wealth like knowledge, and no poverty like ignorance.” — Ali Bin Abi Thalib
Fall 2001 came, I had declined the offer of all schools and opted to get a full time position as a receptionist. Guess where??? Bet you can’t! Waaait for iiittt. At a UNIVERSITY! *insert mind blown emoji* Just before my 24th trip around the sun, I enrolled at a community college. A year later I transferred to my alma mater where I found such joy in the coursework and college life: reading texts, listening to lectures, participating in class discussions, writing lit reviews, researching topics, study groups, and debating with my peers. To my surprise, I found my comfort zone. Finally, the dark cloud transformed into a clear sunny sky, that I have been walking under ever since. Some of the best experiences I’ve had are directly related to going to college. I fondly think back on Iowa, Graterford State Correctional Institution and fireside chats. No frat parties, suite mates or campus drama for me. Only attended one football game and that was as an alumna. The experiences I was open to were stimulating with lifelong rewards. *inhale-exhale*
In many aspects of my life, I have taken the long way around and am still paying for it. No pity or understanding needed. Peace has been made. Just do me a favor, prepare the children in your life as early as possible. High school is too late. This is one of the primary reasons I became a secondary education teacher. Schedule time to research schools based on their environmental needs. Take students on or arrange college tours. Sit with them as they complete career inventories. Encourage them to apply for scholarships. Welcome their questions all in an effort to reduce their ignorance.
Is/are there a young person/s in your life you are helping to prepare for higher learning?
