Stopping the Search and Looking Within
For the past 3 or 4 years, my friend circle has repeatedly heard me declare, “I just want to meet someone I can share my life with.” For months I said this whenever conversations drifted to the topic of relationships. Every time I said this my heart felt the weight of longing to find this “special someone”. Funny thing is I had already found this person and I realized it this year. (Have you grown tired of the revelations people have discovered in the midst of the Coronavirus pandemic?)
Yep, I married her in July 2018. (Bet you didn’t know I was married.)
After another heartbreaking episode, I made the wise decision to marry myself. I bought my beloved a big sparkly ring and honeymooned for 3 days in Busan, South Korea to celebrate the commitment. I told myself that I needed to be my own partner before I committed to anyone else again. It was clear to me that if I was going to invite someone join this commitment, that I needed to be clear that I would not cheat or betray myself. No matter how infatuated I become with another human, it is important to stay true to the one I married.
So why did I continue to say that I needed another person to share my life with? It’s bizarre now as I reflect on the repetitious phrase. After much introspection, I realized that I am sharing my life with several “special” individuals. My family and friends are the people with whom I share much of my happiest moments and days. And beyond that, every moment of my life is shared with me — whether I am in a partnership with another person or single as a dollar bill, I experience new things like traveling the world, going on adventures, expressing creativity, laughing deep and often, and feeling all the feels with myself. The infinite time together is genuinely enjoyed and appreciated. I am grateful to have finally discovered that I have always been sharing my life with “the one”.
Mood: I Gotta Be — Jagged Edge
