Stop. Reflect. Enjoy.
3 weeks ago life was turned inside out for the city of Brotherly Love and Sisterly Affection. The administrators at the public school I teach for informed its school community that students would not attend school and the staff would have a professional development day to learn how to use online programs to teach remotely. That was Monday, March 16. About 40 staff members (this is before the nation knew to limit interactions to groups of 10 people or less) spent the school day in a single classroom feeling overwhelmed and discussing our growing concerns, as we learned to navigate video chatting and Internet learning tools. There were whispers from a few that the school closure was going beyond the 2 weeks we were briefed on via email the Sunday before.
An announcement before lunch was made for us to get whatever non-confidential documents, curriculum, materials and supplies we thought we would need, to be prepared for remote teaching. For an hour, we all escaped to our classrooms to pack up as much as we could, personal belongings and professional items. As I gathered things to put into a paper bag, my mind looped between worrying about my family, my students, their families and myself. It was awful, because for me fear was settling in.
After work I rushed home for a meeting with my leasing manager, to complain about a harassing neighbor (which is a crazy story for another time). Then I rushed back out to hit the several grocery stores to buy 2 weeks worth of food. I am NOT one of the people who panic bought toilet paper, hand sanitizer and disinfectant wipes! In fact, I had to go to four stores because so much of the staples I eat and household items I need were sold out. Of course the bare shelves helped to increase my level of fear, but I did return home satisfied with my purchases. =/
Fast forward to Tuesday and Wednesday when my coworkers and I were in and out of video meetings ALL DAY. In nearly EVERY meeting the expectations for online learning, lesson plans and integrity were covered. IN.EVERY. MEETING. Students were expected to log on Thursday and Friday (depending on the subject being taught). As a special education teacher I was doubtful that my students would receive an adequate standard education at home, due to lack of technology, the ability to navigate newly introduced online resources and various other harsh realities. Furthermore, I was frustrated by the lack of planning time faculty lost as we were required to attend meeting after micro-managing meeting.
Throughout week 1, I complained from Monday through Friday…about.so.many.things. The first week had a HIGH learning curve and there were so many questions admin, faculty, staff, parents and students had about schedules, the online resources were we using to record lessons and packets of academic activities. One of the my coworkers had a panic attack, another forgot to mute herself as she explained having chronic diarrhea the night before, while another accidentally unmuted himself singing “this is toooo much for eeevvvveerryyyoonnee”. Needless to say, we survived week 1 of social-distancing in Philadelphia.
So get to the gratitude part already….Patience dear reader.
After a much needed weekend break from too many emails, phone calls and video meetings, week 2 came with several parent complaints about numerous emails from every single teacher on their child’s/children’s roster. Many of our parents wanted and still want educational packets instead of the headache of logging learners online every hour to a different class or to watch a different teacher’s video on how to complete an ELA, science, social studies or math activity. There is so much more I could share with you about the past 3 weeks of social distancing and remote teaching/learning. Lots of dilemmas and issues to be problem-solved. More complaining. However, the point is to tell you how I decided to choose gratitude through the midst of this unforeseen chaos.
On the eve of week 3, I had a thought to stop sending the rolling eyes emoji to colleagues during meetings and focus on the positive. I decided to journal all the things I am grateful for and then to start my mornings saying “Thank you Higher Power for…”. For one, I’m thankful for my family and friends, many of whom I have shared happy hours, lunches, dinners, brunches and game nights via video chat. There are people who are lonely and wish they had someone to check on them or to check on. I am grateful for cozy shelter and paid utilities. There are numerous people sleeping in the streets each night with nowhere to go and that is devastating.
I am thankful to be employed full time, while the world adjusts to the new normal. Over 6.6 million people have applied for unemployment and I cannot imagine how I would manage. I am grateful to be working safely in my home, for I know that is not the case for several people; thankful to have a job to complain about. I am grateful for my life, health and mental wellness. Individuals who have contracted the worst of COVID-19 have lost the capacity to breath on their own. And I wonder how are those with mental illness coping at such a time? I am grateful that at a time of tragedy the world is taking a moment to regroup to think about what matters most. I pray more than ever. So as I reflect on the past weeks I wonder, for what are you grateful?
